sometimes life is a struggle. reach out.

i have been blogging for years now.

i normally don't share my "private" life here on my blog.

i keep that for myself.

for my family.

i have a pretty "public" life.

i am fairly OPEN.

i do control what i share.

but.

i have felt so impressed to share some very personal feelings with you who read my blog.

stuff i have been going through.

i don't know all of you who read my blog.

but i know you're out there.

i love reading your comments.

love knowing that i am not talking to myself.

maybe i am feeling like i should share because one of you needs to hear what is in my heart.

and it will touch your heart and you will share it too.

Depression.

for me even typing it is hard.

i am the girl who is happy all the time.

right?

i make people laugh.

it's my job.

to be fun all the time.

the cool mom.

the fun friend.

Depression isn't new for me.

it has been part of my entire life.

i had a brother who chose to take his life 21 years ago.

he was a drug and alcohol addict.

he suffered from depression.

i have children who have and do struggle with depression.

from time to time in my own life i have struggled with it.

for me it has been situational.

well,

i've been struggling.

i came home from CHA.

the show felt so good.

i felt at home with Bazzill.

the product looked great.

the response was positive.

i was happy.

then i got sick.

i hadn't been that sick for a long time.

kicked my butt.

was in bed for several days.

since then i have struggled to get up each day.

face my life.

my heart tells me i should be happy.

i have a great life.

beautiful children.

whom i love.

a great job that i love.

a darling home i am so happy in.

so many amazing supportive friends.

but my head tells me differently.

i've been in a slump.

i haven't wanted to admit it to anyone.

remember.

i'm the happy girl.

then it hit me.

the other day i was texting back and forth with one of my best friends.

a true.

she and i were talking about "stuff."

i was worried about her and some of the challenges she was having.

then she finally admitted.

"i am struggling."

it was like a light bulb went off in my mind.

ASK FOR HELP.

as we continued our conversation.

i knew there was nothing i wouldn't do to help, support or love this friend.

nothing.

and she would do the same for me.

i just had to,

ASK FOR HELP.

if you have a friend that is struggling reach out.

listen to your heart.

be bold.

ask if they need help.

write a note.

text.

call.

listen to the promptings of your heart.

take action.

this was sent to me from a dear friend.

right when i needed it.

it says:

loved deeply.

what a gift.

life is filled with challenges.

trials.

ups and downs.

the roller coaster.

i have talked about it on my blog plenty.

i have faced many trials.

head on.

but.

right now.

i am struggling.

doing what i can to look for the positive.

let my heart win.

it's stronger than my head.

i have a theory about trials.

hardships.

i have shared it with friends.

at Brave Girls' Camp.

i want to share it here.

i am going to speak pretty plainly.

i may offend some of you.

but.

it's to make a point.

our lives are filled with trials.

no one has it easy.

no one.

regardless of what you think.

or see.

i believe that the Lord knows each and every one of us.

i believe in a God who created me and you.

a higher power.

i believe that only he knows me more than i know myself.

he knows how strong i am.

i know he won't give me more than i can handle.

i know he loves me unconditionally.

life is about being challenged.

there is going to be shit to deal with.

sometimes we feel knee deep in shit.

it makes us stink.

we are not happy sitting in our shit.

but.

i know we are here to make choices.

what do we do with our shit.

we can hide it.

pretend that it's not there.

but it still stinks.

we can share it.

spread our shit all over the people we love.

then everyone stinks.

we can go back to the pile.

some people love their shit.

they go back to the pile continually.

but.

i believe we have a choice.

we can face our shit.

we can wash it off.

and walk away from it.

be rid of it.

shit will always be there.

more challenges will be faced.

but.

it's what you choose to do that can change your life.

the lives of others.

your attitude.

your experience.

i know for a fact that through my struggles, challenges and trials i have become who i am today.

it has brought me compassion.

understanding.

made me strong.

able to face my shit.

i have been able to look back after i have walked away from the shit and i knew why i had to face it.

go thorough the trial.

it has brought some amazing people in my life.

people who i have been able to help.

who have helped me.

shit happens.

we struggle.

but.

we always have a choice.

ASK FOR HELP.

right now, i am digging my way out of a pile.

i see the light at the end of this tunnel.

i am cleaning myself off and walking away from the pile.

some days i force myself to get out of bed.

do what it takes to not to HIBERNATE.

if you struggle.

know this.

YOU are NOT ALONE.

reach out.

ask for HELP.

face your shit.

clean up.

move on.

love yourself.

DON'T HIBERNATE!

i'm still struggling.

but.

i know there is a light.

i've asked for help.

reached out to those who love me.

taken it to the Lord.

he knows me.

he is always there.

if i felt i couldn't do it alone, or with the support of family & my friends i would seek a professional.

i have before.

used anti-depressants.

they work.

if you're struggling like so many of us.

do what you need for YOU.

we are not alone.

happy Monday.

thanks for being here.

for me.

kiss kiss

m.

 

 

Comments

[chelsea]

awesome :)

[Melanie]

I have been through my own struggles with depression and what you write is so close to me. I should be happy because I have a great husband, great life, great son, etc. but it is hard. Glad that you are feeling better. Know that you are not alone. :)

[Jen LoSchiavo]

Brave, brave wonderful woman ... big hugs to you!

[Megan Hare]

Thank you for sharing. The more women (and mem) realize they aren't alone, the easier it will be for them to get help. {hugs}

[alimoll]

Sending you love and hugs Margie. Great, fabulous post today. I too, struggle with depression, and I am also the "happy girl". You are soooo very right though....in everything you said. Love and hugs again..

ali

[terri]

Thanks Margie. You are such a brave woman to post this... lots of positive energy coming back to you!

[Cheryl Ashworth]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I struggle to talk about the same thing on my own blog but I have to. I have to get it out, and on paper it's less scary.

[cathy]

I love you, lady. xo.

[kelly barton]

margie....i deep exhale i share for you. thank you for the honesty. much love to you chickadee.

[Dawn M]

I hear you! I understand. Been there. Sometimes I feel like there is no way to get out of the shit pile. But there is. Be patient with yourself. Love yourself. HE loves us. No matter what. Unconditionally. Even when we don't always feel HIM. HE is there. Love you sweet sister! I CARE!

[Melissa]

You are not alone with this kind of struggle Margie. You are brave to talk about it on your blog. Hopefully it helped to start "washing it off" by writing about it. When it hits you think you are loosing the battle and it will never get better - but it sounds like you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and that is a great thing. Keep fighting. Hugs and kisses from Texas.

[Colleen]

I haven't commented often but today I have to say thanks for the heartfelt post. It is so very true. Thank you for your honesty! Don't change!

[Martha Richardson]

You go girl! A great post...and you put these trials & tribulations in the correct context...thank you;)

[Amy Cannon]

BRAVA!!!
I suffer from seasonal disorder and this winter, I got sick for a few months and it took me another month just to feel normal. My depression is my situations in life, never about my life, or bad thoughts. Just never feeling 100 percent that I know I am capable of!
ASK FOR HELP! I wish every single woman knew this and wasn't afraid to ask for it! Thank you for posting and being open and saying that asking for help is encouraged!!! xoxoxo

[Cathy H]

Thank you for your honesty! Time to stop hibernating for me too! Bless you always...you are such an inspiration!

[Nancy Wyatt]

Love you my friend! To the moon and back!! xoxo

[Jeanne]

I love you!

[Gweny]

Love this and your honesty.. Thank you for sharing.. Gods love is always there and yes he knows every hair on our head.. even the gray ones.. lol.. Love you so much !!

[Sally Lynn MacDonald]

Really powerful stuff. Thank you for being real and for sharing the difficult right alongside the sunshine. I'm pretty sure lots of sunshine is just around the corner for you. Feel it. <3

[Elaine Allen]

Margie you are loved! And we are always here for you. Hang in there sweetie, there will be a better day. The sun will welcome and embrace you in its warmth just as we all embrace you. Margie, you are loved.

Elaine Allen

[marci]

you got tears just a streamin down my face right now. just posted about this very thing a week or so ago. it's so important to know we aren't alone.
if you had any idea how much i needed to hear this today it would blow your freakin mind. seriously.
thank you.

[teresa wilkins]

My prayers are with you. I am one of those who struggle too. I am in hibernation mode right now and I know I need to overcome that! Reading you post made me re-think my day. I hope you have a better afternoon.

[Amor]

Love your post today. Don't change, that's the way you are, and that is what makes you unique. None of us really show people our TRUE feelings, unless we are really close to them. Today, even if I have not met you face to face, I do feel a little closer to you. TFS

[Rebecca Lovell]

Thanks so much for this Margie. I too have struggled off and on with depression. And when I was feeling really badly the other day, I asked for help. Just asking for it made me feel so much better. I just needed someone to talk to about it, you know? Just getting something off your chest can sometimes help so much! Often it's so easy to let people think our lives are great, and that we are so happy, but sometimes that's just not the case, and just because someone is smiley and sunshiney on the outside, they can totally be hiding a world of hurt. I love you, Margie!!! So much!!

[Jennifer C]

kiss kiss

“Where there is a stink of shit there is a smell of being” Antonin Artaud