here is a funny story about a girl...
my daughter Brooke lives about an hour away from me...
she is living in Provo and going to beauty school...
{a natural, loving it,fun}
anyway,
she called me yesterday after school to chat...
she does it everyday...
in the conversation she became starved...
like to death...
i said eat something...
she said all i have is top ramen and mac and cheese...
the cheepest food in the world...
i asked her...
where is the money i just gave you?
oh you know mom...
gas, and stuff...
in my mind i am thinking yeah, you went to like 4 different dance parties last week...
80's night...ETC...
i get it...
i went to school in the 80's...
i invented 80's night at the Star Palace...
{oh the memories}
anyway...
she was dying...
i wasn't too sympathentic...
i lived on peanut butter sandwhiches in colledge and spent all the money my parents sent me on clothing and dance parties...
she was not going to die...
after talking to me she called Meg...
now meg has a softer heart than i do...
i guess...
with in an hour i got a call from meg...
telling me we needed to go meet Brooke half way, take her to dinner because she was so hungry she was dying...
oh really?
so we drove down half way to meet Brooke...
we had dinner...
we laughed...
we talked...
we listend in on a conversation at the table next to us because the women sitting there had the world's loudest, most annoying and voice ever...
and she talked more than a mile a minute...
i don't even think she was breathing...
anytime there was a second of silence we laughed and laughed...
because she was a motor boat...
the enrgizer bunny...
it was late...
i was tired...
starting to get a head cold...
i could feel it...
it was funny...
but i wanted to get to the store...
we went over to Super Target...
got Brooke some groceries...
we were the very last people in the store...
you know when they turn out the lights after saying they were closed like 15 times...
yes they locked the door when we got out...
once we got to the cars to unload, Brooke had to stop mid sentance and sit...
she has a weird pee issue...
it hit's her fast and hard...
and she won't use a public restroom...
{gets it from me}
so she is frozen in pee mode...
the guy gathering the carts is heading her way...
i am looking at her like really...
if she gets up before pee mode goes away...
it will be trouble...
she and i have been known to just pee our pants...
luckily she sucks it up enough to get up and give the creepy cart guy her cart...
she gets in her car and drives away...
with her groceries...
she is going to live another day...
meg and i drive home and on the way stop at Walgreens so i can get my wonder drug...
Advil Cold & Sinus...
my head is achey, my nose is runny and my back is starting to ache...
now i am the one dying...
it's 11:00 ish...
we do the drive through...
we wait like 10 minutes...
the pharmasist finally looks at us and says...
you'll have to come in...
really?
how about telling us that 10 minutes ago...
at this point i am getting pissy...
achey...
tired...
so meg the soft hearted care giver says...
you stay in the car mom...
i will go in...
i get my wonder drug....
i am not going to die...
i drop her off at her house...
we say goodbye...
i head home...
i unload the few groceries i got at target and head to the front door...
to my utter pleasure i find it is locked...
i thought i had unlocked it before i walked out...
but no...
it's locked...
i lent my key to Max...
my side door is locked...
the front porch light is on...
and the moon is bright...
i figure if i try to break into the front window it will be my luck a neighbor will call the cops...
the only window that will open is my studio windo and in front of it is a table...
my cricut is there...
i don't want to do anything to hurt my NEW cricut...
now i am pissy again...
but kinda laughing at this point...
i call meg...
she says i will come and climb in a window...
my house is old...
very old...
i know i can break in...
i tell her i will call back if i need her...
i know i am not getting in the front window...
my precious cricut and all...
so while i devise a plan...
i take out my trash cans...
the recycling can...
i get my mail...
you know what the heck...
i am out there...
it's a nice night...
not cold...
i put the mail and the groceries on the front porch...
Rocco is going mad inside the house...
i figure i can do this...
i go around to the back of the house...
climb up onto the air conditioning thingy...
i hoist my fat butt up onto the ledge of the window seal...
open the window with one hand...
while supporting my butt onto the ledge with the other...
i push all of the stuff off of my bedside table to the floor...
break a frame...
in the crash...
and i force myself up into the window with every bit of strength i have...
the blind is whacking me in the face...
but i make it into the window enough to go crashing into my bedroom landing on the floor...
classic...
i am so proud of myself...
rocco is barking outside my bedroom door like we are getting robbed...
i am sitting in a pile of glass and everything that was on my bed table...
laughing...
meg calls me...
she and Jeremy are on their way...
i tell them i am in...
turn around...
i clean up the mess...
get my groceries, mail and purse off the front porch...
like nothing is out of the norm...
it's well after midnight...
i ache...
i am bruised...
i am pissy...
i am laughing at myself all alone in my little house...
like a mad women...
i lay in bed...
can't sleep...
i think about the evening...
i laugh some more...
i go to bed...
this is my life...
Happy Wednesday...
kiss kiss
m
OK, so I was already laughing, and then I got to the line "the blind is whacking me in the face", I freakin' lost it. Don't know why that struck me so funny but it did! You are a mess, girl!
Posted by: Lorriemccullers.blogspot.com | February 16, 2011 at 11:14 AM
And THIS is why I love you!!
Feel better, friend. You have SO MANY more adventures to document for all of us!!!!
xoxo
s
Posted by: Shea | February 16, 2011 at 11:15 AM
sorry for your troubles, but oh how I so love this story..... Hope you are feeling better today :)
Posted by: Renee D | February 16, 2011 at 11:15 AM
Oh how i love this story too - laughing so hard and then even harder at the end. You are so true and so real - and you make me smile (and today you made me miss my mother so much!) Thank you sweet Margie!
Posted by: Shelly Berg | February 16, 2011 at 11:21 AM
Best post ever. You are the three stooges. I love all of you. Even Babe and Rocco.
Posted by: April | February 16, 2011 at 11:25 AM
First time to your blog Margie (we've met, but I don't expect you to remember :)... totally LOVED your story and perspective of this day in your life!!! Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: Allison Orthner | February 16, 2011 at 11:26 AM
ROFL
LOVE YOU M-G
Posted by: Kip | February 16, 2011 at 11:27 AM
I
Love
You.
For real.
Posted by: Heather | February 16, 2011 at 11:34 AM
DYING laughing at the visuals.
Thank you for sharing that story today.
Love you!
Posted by: Virginia | February 16, 2011 at 11:36 AM
Ok you really made my day. I was kinda feelin sorry for myself. I had foot surgery - it hurts can't get around too well and you know poor me! Well reading this cracked me up not only for the story but also cuz it's so me!! Life so crazy so wonderful so unexpected at every turn!! Love ya girly :) Anda
Posted by: Anda williams | February 16, 2011 at 11:42 AM
Great story, and really great delivery. Love how you write. Love that you had such a fun story to share (altho, not so fun for you to live--ha!). Amazed at your continued sense of humor thru it all, pissy moments and all ;) Aleve Cold and Sinus is my wonder drug of choice, too BTW!
Posted by: Deanna C | February 16, 2011 at 12:00 PM
hahaha that is hilarious!!
Posted by: Kellie | February 16, 2011 at 12:16 PM
What a classic story !! You sound like an awesome mom :)
Posted by: Cim Allen | February 16, 2011 at 12:40 PM
that is sad and silly all at the same time! I have had my fair share of days like that. Big hugs! I hope the rest of the week is a piece of cake!
Posted by: Mandy Starner | February 16, 2011 at 12:46 PM
Still laughing, I think I will laugh all day....not at you, but with you! Thanks for the bright spot today.
I hope you feel better soon.
Posted by: Stephanie O. | February 16, 2011 at 12:46 PM
YOU my friend are MY HERO and how I do LOVE you!!!!
Posted by: Nancy Wyatt | February 16, 2011 at 12:49 PM
;)
Posted by: loriet | February 16, 2011 at 12:50 PM
oh Margie, you just made me burst our laughing at work...guess I am busted but it is worth it! I have been there more than once so I can totally "see" what you did! I love it! Hope your day is great today!
Posted by: Maria A | February 16, 2011 at 12:50 PM
wow...I felt this was me reading my journal! Got to laugh, right? Thank you for shaaring "Real Life" with us! Hope you are feeling better...Grace xoox
Posted by: Grace | February 16, 2011 at 01:28 PM
LOVE this so much.
LOVE You so much!
I'm laughing so hard...so classic!
LOVE YOU!
xox
Posted by: Rhonna Farrer | February 16, 2011 at 01:31 PM
such a great story...although i doubt you will ever forget it, it's nice that it is recorded for all the little details...
Posted by: kate | February 16, 2011 at 01:36 PM
Awww sweet Margie. Thanks for sharing your story - totally made me chuckle. Been locked out too, but it was the middle of the night. Had to wake our neighbors for the key. Such is life. May as well laugh about it.
Posted by: Annette Kuusinen | February 16, 2011 at 01:49 PM
Hilarious.
The only thing that would have made it better is if you would have pee'd yourself when you landed...then it would have like tied the whole story together, you know? Ha!!
Posted by: Michelle Philippi | February 16, 2011 at 01:58 PM
at least you can laugh!
take care.
Sandra
Posted by: Sandra ltb | February 16, 2011 at 02:03 PM
Oh I laughed - sorry it was at your expense, and happy you got in, even if a little bumped and bruised....at least the neighbors didn't call the police :)
Posted by: Kirsten J | February 16, 2011 at 02:05 PM